plura Financial Blog

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Corporate Jargon Translator – Part 2 (Stuff Analysts Say)

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Analysts say a lot of creative things to avoid getting fired in Corporate America.  Here’s a quick guide to help you translate some popular Analyst jargon:

Stuff Analysts Say (and what it really means) in Corporate America:

There were unintended consequences (My idea totally backfired…)

It’s not a silver bullet but it’s a helpful tool (I have no idea how this pivot table works)

I don’t disagree with you (You are right and I am wrong, but I won’t give you the satisfaction of actually agreeing with you)

Too funny (Go away. Every minute you spend at my desk telling me your lame story is another minute I have to stay later at work)

They puked all over it (They said no)

They responded with some pretty aggressive rhetoric (They said no, again)

They’re trying to take a pound of flesh (I forgot to read the Fee section of the agreement before having you sign it)

We’re in sync on the broad strokes of the deal (We’ve only agreed on the easy points)

I ran a sensitized case for the financial model (My boss has no faith in my abilities, and wanted to see what’s really going to happen)

I just want to ensure my call notes are accurate (Please repeat that, I was reading ESPN.com when you said that last part)

Apologies for my delay, was stuck in a long meeting (We had a call scheduled?)

I’m sorry, my cell phone is acting up…whose number is this? (I didn’t think you were important enough to add to my Outlook contacts when we first met)

We’re going to put it on hold/in dry dock (My boss said no, but I forgot to tell you last month)

There is perceived value (Our marketing people creatively tricked customers into paying for this P.O.S.)

We’re trying to get the data to corroborate it (I haven’t started working on this yet)

Let me run the numbers some more and circle back (I still haven’t started working on this yet)

I’m not wedded to the idea (I just realized my recommendation was dumb)

I’m getting deal blur (I guessed the answer to your question, and guessed wrong)

Let’s socialize the issue (I plan to ignore your concern and hope you forget about it)

We need to kill the alligator closest to the boat (Let’s ignore less urgent assignments until the boss forgets about them)

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This article was written by James Timberview, featured in the blog for pluraFinancial.com.  Special thanks to Brandon Hinkle and Joe Polaneczky, who contributed several catchphrases to this hodgepodge of CYA jargon.

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Written by entrabanker

April 5, 2012 at 4:23 am

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